


He's Not Me

by Loveislove87



Series: Robron Week 2019 [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Very loose Made of Honor AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 06:43:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18338267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: Aaron's getting married.  Robert's the best man who's harboring a secret he swore he'd never tell.





	He's Not Me

**Author's Note:**

> Robron Week Day 3 - RomCom AU

“Rob!”

“One second...”

“Robert!!”

“I just need to finish up this one line...”

Aaron huffed.  He already hated doing this but if his best mate wasn’t gonna pay attention this would go on forever.

“Robert, put the goddamn phone down and  just  tell me I look like a chubby penguin!”

Robert scoffed as he finished up an email to the world’s worst client.  “Would you please, you do not look like...”

When Robert looked up, his stomach rose to his throat and his breath was knocked out of his chest.  

Aaron looked gorgeous.  

The scruffy mechanic was never seen out of his overalls or jeans and hoodie combo.  His style was so one-note Robert regularly takes the mick that he c ouldn ’t understand why Ed ever pulled Aaron in the first place.

This was incredible. 

It took him a minute to realize Aaron was waiting for him to say something.

With a gulp and a few blinks, Robert stood up and found his voice.

“Aaron, you look amazing!  That’s the suit for sure.”  He circled around the groom-to-be as Aaron adjusted the jacket, looking at himself in the mirror.

“Yeah, I guess it’ll do.  It’s pretty comfy.”

Robert came around to Aaron’s front and adjusted the tie.  He did everything he could to steady his hands.

“Do you like the tie, Rob?  They had a bunch of different ones but I liked this one.”  

Robert gulped again.  He felt a bead of sweat roll down his neck and blinked back the sting in his eyes.  

“It’s perfect,  Azza .  Brings out your eyes.”

Aaron’s smile was blinding.  Robert couldn’t look away.  Aaron looked so beautiful and so happy.  Robert couldn’t help but get choked up.

“Are you getting emotional on me there, Rob?  I thought I was the cryer!”  Aaron rubbed Rob’s shoulders while chuckling.

If only Aaron knew.

“Well it’s a big deal,  y’know .  Who would’ve thought you’d be getting married!”

Robert remembered when he met Aaron.  His car had been acting up so he brought it to the local garage where he met a grumpy man with a shared love of old cars.  They had gotten to talking while Aaron worked and Robert waited, hitting it off right away.

Robert had wanted to ask him out almost immediately, Aaron’s shit attitude softened by his beautiful eyes and curly hair, but a passing mention of his boyfriend put a stop to that.  They still exchanged numbers and started hanging out, grabbing a pint, watching football, that kind of stuff.  Eventually, they spent more time together, shared more texts and got close enough to finish each other’s sentences.

That’s why Robert was the first to find out Aaron’s perfect boyfriend had proposed.

Aaron had said yes and Robert’s  world  had crumbled.

But he smiled and hugged the life out of Aaron and quickly agreed to be his best man.

He thought that at this point he’d gotten over his attraction to Aaron.  He’d had to deny himself for so long it was just a part of his life.  But hearing that Aaron was going to be permanently attached to Ed, that he planned on giving this man forever, brought all of those feelings back to the surface.

Robert was well aware that he was a selfish man.  He had broken his fair share of hearts, not letting it keep him up at night.  He wasn’t so much a relationship guy as he was a reliable sex guy and that always seemed to end up being a problem for his partners.  

Meeting Aaron, though, had changed all of that.

He couldn’t help some nights imagining what a life with him would be like.  What it would be like to hold his hand or cuddle him on the couch.  

To say  _ I love you. _

But that’s all it could be.  Although he’s selfish, he would never ruin their friendship or jeopardize  Aaron’s  happiness.   

He would deal with this like he had for the last two years.  Silently and alone.

____________________

Aaron’s bachelor party was epic.  Robert made sure of it.

A new bar had opened up in the city and he was able to land them reservations.  Just so happened that a local band Aaron followed was playing that night as well.  Robert called all of Aaron’s mates and they surprised him at his flat with a limo and a seemingly end less  amount of booze.

The look on Aaron’s face was worth all the planning.  He was clearly thrilled to see so many mates, some he hadn’t spoken to in years.  It had taken Robert forever trying to track some of these people down, even stooping so low as to ask Chas and Paddy for help.  

The ride to the bar, however, turned out to be excruciating.  

Everyone wanted to know about Ed.  What’s he like?  How did you meet?  Do you like his family?

Blah blah blah.

Robert dove head first into the bar, downing anything his hands landed on.

More than once, he noticed Aaron eyeing him with something that resembled concern but he’d just smile at his mate and take another drink.

By the time they got to the bar, Robert was good and tipsy.  They all got settled in a large booth at the corner of the bar and got the drinks in.  Robert ended up sitting across from Aaron but was struggling to look his mate in the face.

The quiet, sober voice in his head told Robert to stop making this about him and make sure his best mate had the night of his life.

The much louder, intoxicated voice said fuck that, keep drinking.

So  he  went with  that.

An hour or so in and everyone was feeling good.  They had pounded some shots and gotten some food.  Some of the men got up to mingle, hoping not to end their night alone.  A few found the pool table and others sat and talked.  

Robert went  back  to the bar.

After ordering yet another shot, he felt a smack to his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” He looked to his left to see Aaron sitting down next to  him,  concern written all over his face.  “You’re acting really weird.”

“I.  Am fine.”  Robert was not fine as indicated by how hard it was to say those three words.  But even drunk Robert didn’t want to upset Aaron.  He just wanted to drink until he passed out.

“Uh, I don’t think so, Rob.  I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you this drunk.  You’ve barely said anything all night.   Y ou mad about som mat ?  Did somethin ’  happen at work?”  

Aaron was always so kind.  It’s his big night and here he is, worried about Robert.

Robert pulled himself together as best he could and shook his head.  “I’ve just been stressed lately.  Work’s crazy.  Haven’t been able to see Vic.  Wedding planning.  Just needed to let off some steam tonight.  No worries.”  He tacked a smile on the end in the hopes of ending this conversation as quickly as possible.

The booze was making him far more aware of Aaron than he wanted to be.  He could smell Aaron’s cologne and couldn’t help thinking about how his beard would feel  under  his hand.  His eyes looked darker in the lights of the bar than they normally did.  His lips were slightly chapped but still looked so soft.

If he didn’t get out of here soon, Robert was sure he would do or say something he would totally regret.

“ Y’know , I’m actually not feeling great.  I think I overdid it.  Drank too fast on an empty stomach.”  He tried out a small laugh but it sounded horribly fake.  By the look on Aaron’s face, he wasn’t buying any of this either.  “I’m just  gonna  catch a cab and head home.  You’re good with your mates, right?”  He put his hand on Aaron’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to act as normal as possible.

“Well yeah but I’m worried about you.  Rob, you know you can talk to me abo...” Aaron’s thought was interrupted by a text message.  Aaron looked at his phone and Robert caught a glimpse.  It was from Ed.

_ Thinking of you and missing you.  Hope you’re having fun.  I love you xx _

Robert’s stomach turned when he saw the text and Aaron’s responding smile.  

Why did he think he could do this?  Why did he think that his feelings for Aaron weren’t going to fly up from under the surface and punch him right in the chest?  There was no way he was going to be able to watch Aaron dedicate his life to someone else.  It was breaking his heart to see a stupid text.   Hearing  wedding vows would actually kill him.

He couldn’t stay for one more second.  “I have to go, Aaron.  I’m sorry.  Have fun tonight.”  And with that Robert practically ran out the door.

He looked down the road and found a taxi sitting idle.  He started heading towards it, willing himself not to vomit, when a hand grabbed his arm and spun him around.

Aaron looked so worried but that just pissed Robert off.  

“What, Aaron?  What now?!” The hurt spread across his face.  Robert knew this wasn’t fair but he was done , t he alcohol ripping away the last shreds of his filter.

“I really don’t know what else you want from me at this point! I got you the perfect venue and your favorite band.  We got the best cake and a gorgeous suit.  The photographer is the best in the business and every friend you’ve ever had is in that bar.  I helped you write your vows for fuck sake !   What else could you possibly want from me?!”

Robert was breathing  hard,  tears he didn’t know had escaped streaming down his face.  His stomach was sour and his hands were shaking.  He never should have  drank  tonight.  Maybe he never should have gone out.

Aaron stood with his mouth open.  “I didn’t know helping me plan the biggest day of my life was such a big fucking problem for you! I thought you’d want to help, that you’d want to be there for me! I’m so sorry it was such an inconvenience for you!”

Robert just shook his head and turned to walk away.  He’d ruined everything enough.  

But Aaron wasn’t about to let this drop.  

“ Oh  I don’t think so!” He got in front of Robert, hand on his chest to stop him from walking.

“I deserve to know what the hell this is about.”  Robert just looked at the ground and tried walking around Aaron but the younger man was having none of it.  “No, Rob! What the fuck is your problem?!”

“I’m in love with you!”  

The words had flown out of Robert’s mouth without his permission, landing like a rock between the two men.  Aaron’s hand instantly dropped from Robert and he took a step back  seemingly  from the power of the confession.

Robert dragged his hands through his hair.  He might as well just dive in now.

“I’ve loved you since I met you, Aaron.  But you had Ed and you were happy.  And our friendship was so good and you mean everything to me.  I was dealing with it, you know?  It didn’t hurt all the time, only once in a while.  I stopped imagining what it would be like to be with you after a bit but then you got engaged and seeing you with Ed and doing all this planning, it’s too much.  I can’t breathe, Aaron! I want you to be happy, more than anything in the world, I want you to be happy.  I just can’t help  but  wish that it was with me.”

Robert met Aaron’s gaze and found it blank.  He had always known Aaron didn’t feel the same  way,  it was never a question.  There were so many times where Aaron could have made a move or made a confession and it never happened.  Robert wasn’t stupid.  He knew this was unrequited.  But seeing Aaron look at him like this, like he’s barely even there?  God it hurt.

Robert wiped his eyes and stood up a bit taller, putting the last pieces of his dignity back together.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sure it’s not possible but if you can try forgetting literally  everything  I just said that would be great.  I really like Ed and I know you’ll be so happy together.  You deserve that.  More than anyone else, you deserve to smile and laugh for the rest of your life.”

Robert looked down and put his hands in his pockets as to not reach out and touch Aaron.  “Go back inside,  Azza .  Your mates are probably wondering where you are.”  He gave a small, sad smile and headed to the taxi.  

Before climbing in he looked back to where Aaron stood.  He seemed frozen in place for a moment but then, without a look back at Robert, headed back into the bar.

Robert was grateful he made it back to his flat before the vomiting started.  Once he got himself cleaned up and downed a glass of water, he got into bed and gave into being a cliché.  Confessing his love for his best friend days before his wedding, knowing damn well the feeling wasn’t mutual.  How pathetic.

He cried until exhaustion pulled him to sleep.

_______________

Today’s the big day.

Robert had laid in bed staring at the ceiling all night until he realized that the warmth on his face was sun.  He hadn’t spoken to Aaron at all since that night at the bar.  He had stared at his phone for seemingly hours on end, willing it to buzz with anything from Aaron but nothing ever came through.

He had debated a thousand times whether or not he should call or text or just go to Aaron’s place to beg forgiveness.  He missed Aaron already and was starting to wonder if the slight weight he felt lifted off of his shoulders was worth losing his best mate all together.

Robert knew he wouldn’t be able to go to the wedding.  He had no business showing up there now.  He had no idea what Aaron was thinking or how he’d react and the thought of being kicked out was too much to handle. 

Robert sat up and started swiping through pictures on his phone.  He had a bunch of his sister and his niece and nephew, some of Diane and a few of Andy.  Most pictures, though, were of  Aaron .  Once he’d had his fill of staring at those photos, he went into Aaron’s instagram account, swiping through all of his pictures.  Robert landed painfully on a really lovely photo of Aaron and Ed.  They were sitting at a table outside, looking at one another and laughing.  Aaron looked so young and  carefree,  Robert couldn’t help but smile.  Even through the black and white filter he could see the love radiating off of him.

That’s what he’d do.  

Robert flew out of bed and into the shower.  He had enough time to  try making  amends before the wedding, to let his best friend know he was thinking of him and only wanted him to be happy.

With his phone in hand, Robert headed into town.  It was just a small gift but hopefully Aaron would understand.

__________

Robert had allowed himself to mope.  

It was 4pm, two hours after Aaron and Ed were scheduled to say “I do.”  He was sitting alone in his living room, Adele playing her sad stuff quietly in the background and the one drink he was allowing himself today in his hand.

He wasn’t crying, at least not anymore.  He figured he had run out of tears about  a  day ago.

After organizing the gift and sending it off, Robert had settled in to his flat for  his  twenty four  hours of self-loathing.  He allowed himself to rehash everything he did and said as well as everything he didn’t do and didn’t say over the years with Aaron.  He let himself be pissed and sad and  full of  regret.  

But then he’d move on.  Then he’d figure out how to get  Aaron’s  friendship back, maybe start dating.  Try to fall out of love with his best friend.

His eyelids were starting to feel heavy when there was an aggressive knock on his door.

Robert debated about letting whoever it was just stand there until they gave up but whoever was on the  other side  of his door didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon.

With a heavy sigh, Robert stood, placing his drink on the coffee table and opened the door to find a rather frantic looking Aaron dressed in his perfect suit staring back at him.

Before Robert could say anything, Aaron had charged past him and into the flat.  He turned and lifted a framed photo up to Robert.  “What the fuck is this, Rob?”

Robert looked at Aaron in  confusion.   “A gift?”

Aaron shook his head.  “Yeah I figured that.  By why would you give this to me?”

Robert looked at it and decided to just be honest.  “It’s a really good photo, Aaron.  You and Ed are clearly in love and look really happy.  I thought it would be like  waving a white flag  or something?  I don’t know.  I guess-I guess I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry and I’m happy that you’re happy.”  Robert shrugged.  He wasn’t quite sure what else to say.  He glanced around the room, too uncomfortable to look at Aaron.  That’s when he noticed the time.

“Wait a second.  What the hell are you doing here?”  Robert’s eyes were practically bugging out of his head.  “You’re missing the reception! Do you have any idea how expensive that band is?  Your mum is  gonna  go bal l istic if you aren’t there listening to every note, Aaron!”  Robert was practically shoving Aaron out the door.

Aaron turned to Robert before he was able to get the door opened.

“ Robert  I didn’t...” Robert wasn’t listening.  He had  Aaron’s  tie in his hand, straightening it out.  He had a look of concentration, tongue poking out the side of his mouth.  Aaron couldn’t help but smile.

“Rob I’m not married.”

Robert looked up, eyes meeting Aaron’s, hands still on his tie.

“W hat? W hy not?  Are you okay?”

Aaron smiled.  Robert melted.

“Yeah.  It’s just that I found out a few days ago that this bloke I’ve been in love with for years loves me too.”  Robert’s jaw dropped.

Aaron removed Robert’s hands from his tie, taking them in his own.  

“You always went after what you wanted, Rob.  I watched you for years approach tons of men and women, always confident and always getting what you wanted.  You never did that with me so I figured you didn’t feel the way I felt.”

“Are you serious?”  Robert’s chest was practically splitting open.  “Aaron, you were already with Ed when we met.  I didn’t want to fuck that up for you.”

Aaron nodded.  “I know that now.  I guess I was always too afraid to take the risk.  Ed’s great.  He’s kind and thoughtful and wouldn’t hurt me.   But  I was afraid that if I told you how I felt and you didn’t feel the same, I’d lose you  _ and _  Ed.”  Aaron shrugged.  “I was just afraid of being alone, so I held onto a man I liked instead of the man I loved.”

Robert took his hands from Aaron’s and stepped back, shaking his head.  Aaron started to panic.  

“No but I spilled my guts at the bar and you didn’t say anything.  I went on and on and you just stood there!”

“I was drunk and you took me totally by surprise, Rob!  It was my bachelor party for fuck sake! Nothing like waiting until the last minute!”

Robert let out a bit of a laugh.  “Fair point.”  He rubbed his hand across his forehead.  “If we’re being honest, I never would have said anything if it wasn’t for the excessive amount of liquid courage I had on board.”

Aaron smiled and moved toward Robert.  “Yeah I figured.  But I’m really glad you did.” 

Aaron cautiously slid his hands to Robert’s waist, moving their bodies so they were chest to chest.  “Robert.”  

Robert looked up and met Aaron’s gaze.  His hands moved up Aaron’s arms, landing on the back of his neck feeling the soft curls there.

“Robert, I love you.  I have for ages now.”

Robert smiled, tears swimming in his eyes.

“God, Aaron.”  He tipped his head forward leaning against Aaron’s.  “I love you, too.  I have for ages now.”

Aaron moved in, pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to Robert’s lips.  Robert thought it was the best kiss of his life.  

When they pulled away, both men smiling and laughing, Aaron couldn’t help himself.  

“We’re both fucking idiots, you know that, right?”

Robert laughed, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

“Yeah.  Yeah we are.”  


End file.
